The best ways I've found ot build relationships with kids involve talking to them about non-academic life. I think the most powerful tool are the little conversations you have with kids on the playground, between lessons, during transitions--giving them your attention and finding ways to connect with them and remind them that you are more than just a teacher is important. Similarly, conversations and sharing during morning meeting are also a good way to build relationships. Like with the less formal conversations, listening to kids share and sharing myself gives us a chance to learn more about one another's lives. A third way is to have some of these 'conversations' through writing as I respond to student work. I like to ask questions or write what their work made me think of. I think this shows the kids that I care about what they have written and the work they have done.
Finally, slightly different than the others, Diane has shown me how powerful 'special jobs' can be when dealing with a challenging student. Asking these kids to help with the technology or run a quick errand makes them feel important and shows that you trust them, which goes a long way towards building that relationship
I appreciate your thoughtful response to this prompt. While it's definitely important to connect with kids on "non-school topics" as a way to show them you're interested in the whole person, there's more to it than that. In your response, you went a step further by pointing out that relationships are built in the way we respond to students' work (what they write and what they say out loud), and in the clever techniques we have for re-focusing a kid who's struggling with behavior.
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